Jake, I read your Portfolio story, Great Escape. I like that you severely changed the ending of the original story of Odysseus and that the Cyclops was changed to a Yeti. These were very creative additions, and the end was surprising. I really like that you killed the hero and his men off, as no one would expect that. I have a few suggestions. Firstly, it is important to break this story up into smaller paragraphs. I was originally daunted when I looked at the page. I suggest introducing the problem of being stuck in the cave and your plan of escape as the first paragraph. The second could be about the Yeti returning and your hero's attack. Finally, the third paragraph could be the surprise ending where your hero fails to defeat the Yeti and the men all die. Also, especially at the beginning of your tale, you use a lot of short and choppy sentences. Try combining some of these so that your story flows more smoothly.
Hey Jake! I loved your story, and partly because I am bias toward Odysseus. I love his many adventures.. It was really what got me into mythology in the first place! Anyways, like Bridget said, very clever job making him a Yeti! And I absolutely love how you make the good guy die because I did not expect that one bit! I honestly think humanity could use a dose of reality within our stories.. We just seem to win too much sometimes! I personally loved the suspense leading up to the Yeti's appearance. I like the psychology that is involved with everyone being freaked out and trying to calm themselves down.. It just gave the story much more depth than it would have without it! Keep up the great work Jake! Just be sure to keep your work looking as appealing visually as it is in actual story quality and you sould have a wonderful looking portfolio!
Hey Jake, I think this is a great start to your portfolio. I am really excited to see the many stories you develop into this project. I think you did an amazing job because you really captured the audience's attention well right off the bat with the dramatic first few sentences. The plot continued to draw the reader in, and the reader was forced to keep reading in order to find out the predicament that the characters in the reading were in. I think this technique is something that is great when writing. I wonder what the story would have been like with dialogue. Also, if the characters had a little more development the audience could have maybe more easily been connected to the ones in Odysseus. In the end, I think your storytelling is off to a great start, best of luck!
Hi Jake! I love your retelling of a classic Greek tale in “Great Escape”, especially how you changed the setting and gave it an unexpected ending. I fully hoped that Odysseus would survive the yeti’s wrath as he does the cyclops’ wrath in the original, but I think the ending is suitably bleak for the tone of the rest of the story and you explain the situation well by telling readers that he writes them from Hades.
A detail I wondered about while reading the story was how the main character and his men were trapped in the cave in the first place — did the yeti capture them when it went hunting one day? Did they accidentally stumble into his cave while seeking shelter from the cold? Is it the same as the original in that Odysseus wanted to see the yeti’s riches? I think this detail could help give readers more context in the first place.
One thing I did find challenging about reading this story was that it was set up in one very large block of text, and was a little bit difficult to focus on. If you broke it up into smaller paragraphs, I think it could really help the flow of the story. Overall though, this was a very engaging retelling with a a very unexpected finale.
Jake, great story and start to your blog. the great escape is an excellent take on the old odyssey story. An ironic title though. But the title just makes the ending all the more surprising. I also liked the voice you chose for the story, the main character kind of recalling the events and ending in Hades. It is a shame that not a single man made it out, but I suppose that's your prerogative. A quick note on the structure, I'd recommend you break your story into several paragraphs as to avoid the wall of text. That'll just make it easier to read and harder to get lost in. I'm excited to see where you take your project next!
I always love it when people change the ending to stories, especially when it’s not that much of a happy ending. Your story parallels a lot of how most Greek mythological stories ended. I liked that you changed the setting, although it would have been even better if you were able to describe in detail where and what the characters’ surroundings looked like. Another thing that I noticed is that it was one full paragraph. Breaking it up will make the story a lot easier for the audience to read. I noticed that I had trouble focusing towards the middle of the paragraph because it was a little longer than I would have liked. Giving your main character a first name, or some other identifying features, would have made the story more personal and it would have been better for the reader to understand the character more. Providing small details like this makes the story more relatable despite all the differences it had from the modern day world.
What a great surprise ending! I like that you changed the monster and ending to add your own twist to a well-known story. In order to make the ending even more surprising and ironic, what if you had Odysseus introduce himself at the beginning? That way, the reader would expect the typical Odysseus victory and experience an even greater surprise at the end.
I think some dialogue as the men suffer in the cave and deliberate would help to show the tension of the situation, and it might make it easier to read the plot-heavy story (not that plot-heavy is a bad thing at all!!).
I like that you decided to have Odysseus end up in Hades. But that last sentence left me wanting to know more! How exactly did he end up in Hades, and what is he doing there? Is he perhaps planning his next great escape?
Thanks for sharing your story; I think it's well-written and has a very exciting plot! I look forward to reading more from you!
First, I wanted to say how creative it was to change the story around where the cyclops becomes a yeti! I really enjoyed that along with the surprise ending where everyone died off instead of having a hero. I feel like hero stories are so cliche. I would suggest changing your writing style a bit. There were so many short choppy sentences that the story just did not flow. Maybe you could combine sentences and turn them into smaller paragraphs so it could be easier to read. Another things is you do a great job of describing the cave and how it looks, smells, etc. But you could do the same with the yeti to give the readers a visual of how big and ugly and scary he is. Other than that I think you have great ideas and are very creative, you just need to work on those sentences!
Hi Jake, I enjoyed reading your first story "Great Escape". I always like to see stories that differ quite a bit from the original story and I must say, that was a very drastic change at the end. As I read about the remaining crew trying to propose a plan and execute it, I began thinking of why they hadn't tried attacking the Yeti whenever the crew was complete. I honestly thought the crew was all going to escape, or at least the narrator when he succeeds by getting out of the cave. The story was well written and creative. The picture of the Yeti could have been one that was a little bit scarier since he is a man-eating beast. There maybe could have been a few details to describe the scene whenever the Yeti was stabbed or when the crew was getting eaten but other than that it was a great story!
The amount of detail you put into this story was incredible. I could really picture your protagonist’s suffering. The first-person perspective also makes emotions and experiences feel stronger. I loved the fact that your character was telling all of this from the underworld. As I was reading and the situation was getting worse, I was thinking that he must be alive because he was telling this story. It was a nice little twist. I’d read the story of Odysseus and the cyclops before, but I think I actually like this more. I’d love to hear how the men got themselves into this situation, but I also like how you plop your reader down right in the middle of the action. It would also be great to hear some of the other ways that they tried to escape. Did they try beating against the door or digging out? Was there anything else in the cave with them?
Hi Jake! First of all, I really like the layout of your portfolio website. It is simple, but very eye-catching. I like that you use a mix of Sun Wu Kung and the Odyssey in this story, and instead of using a cyclop, you se a yeti! That is very different. In the Odyssey, Odysseus is not as confident as Sun Wu Kung so I really like the way you depict Sun Wu Kung as a confident and fearless character. I often do not like to read story in first person point of view, but in your porfolio, you just make it work really well using this point of view. It helps the readers understand how the main character is feeling at certain moment and show his emotions more clearly. However, I am wondering how did the protagonist and his men end up trap in the cave in the case? Where was they going that lead them into troubles? Overall, I really like your storytelling style and cannot wait to read more.
Hey Jake! I’ve been to your Portfolio before and read the first story. It was very good and the second did not disappoint. The first part is very descriptive and I enjoyed the word choice. I also like the Monkey King’s confidence. It’s a big part of his personality and what guides him in his actions. Despite this, the title feels a little off to me. Sun Wu Kung is confident, but I think he still understood the gravity of the situation. I agree with you that the first person point of view can add a special element to your story. I struggle with being consistent in this, but you did well. I wish that there had been a little more conflict with the princes of the Nether. Why would they just bow to him? They had body guards! A fight scene might be in order here. You did a very nice job with this story overall. Good job!
I liked how you began this story in the middle basically, instead of setting up why they were there, how they got there, etc. I think it is really different and it worked really well for this story to just jump right in. Using the story of Odysseus in this way with the scenery change and the monster changed was very clever! The only thing I would add would be something about why they were there. Odysseus and his men were on their way back from the war, so I think you could do something with that, in terms of why your characters were in the cave.
I liked your second story too! I think you’re right, changing it to first person did make the story more engaging. I think he is a very strong character, and I think you brought to life really well. I’m excited to read more of your stories!
Jake, I just read your second story, My Annoying Trip to the Nether. I thought the use of "annoying" in the title of the story was a strange choice until I realized that you had written a story on the Monkey King. I read this unit a week or two ago, myself, and "annoying" it definitely a fitting word for the monkey! I think I even used it in my author's note about him somewhere. You did a great job of retelling this tale, as the original Monkey King unit it not actually from Sun Wu Kung's perspective. It was great that you used "I am the Venerable Sun Wu Kung" more than once in your story as this phrase was seen throughout the unit and seemed to be the egotistical trade mark of the Monkey King. Hood job on this! I look forward to reading more of your tales!
Hey Jake! I really enjoyed your portfolio! I think the amount of effort you put in your writing is great because the details make your writing so vivid. One thing I would suggest with your first story about the yeti is possibly moving the picture of the stabbing of the Cyclops below the Author’s note just to fully get it away from your story. I really do like the images that you chose however. I really like your Crazy Man story but I was wondering what if you added a bit more of a characterization. It immediately starts off with I and never truly describe the character. The actions and thoughts are described with great detail but I feel this story could be perfect if you just gave an introduction to the main guy. I would understand if you didn’t though because the story is all in first person so I do understand that there is no point in him describing himself, I just think it would add a nice touch. Overall, great work!
Hi Jake! I really like the overall design of your website. The use of the cartoon style images adds a unique style and fits well with your stories. It is also easy to navigate and find your stories. For your first story, I like how you changed the monster to a yeti to make it different. I read the author’s not on this first and you said you thought it would be funny to make them not escape. My main question is why you didn’t add humorous parts? What if you made the men think up some absurd plan to escape instead of just attacking the yeti? Like throwing their own talent show to distract the yeti. It’s just the first thing that came to mind when you wrote the “… same daunting conclusion” line. It would pretty much be a scene from a South Park episode. I enjoyed your other stories as well since I read the original stories as well, but this first story is the one where I had the most comments about.
Hi Jake! I thought the setup of your Portfolio was really nice because it was super easy to navigate and had just a clean look to it. I enjoyed how different all your stories were from one another and how original each one was. You seem to like adventure and action stories which creates a common theme throughout the portfolio and creates a nice flow. Your twist to Odysseus's fight against Polyphemus in your story the Great Escape was very original and completely changed the story but in a good way. I think the changes worked with the ending of your story better than if you left the setting the same. It wouldn't have the same feeling if Odysseus dies in a beautiful sheep surrounded by sheep. That could have been an interesting thing to imagine though. The icy setting also added to the bleakness and despair the men are probably feeling. Great job!
I just read your story-“The Crazy Man” from your portfolio. The title caught my attention and I was intrigued immediately. I like that you told this story in first person. I haven’t read many stories in this class that are told in the first person, but I like how it added a personal layer to this story, and it made it easier for me the empathize with the main character. I had never read this story before, so I am glad you decided to keep a lot of the main details and plot points. I love stories that include a heroine using their intelligence to get out of a tough situation, and I think you did a wonderful job with your descriptions in this story. My only suggestion would be to add a little dialogue to your story, because it will help it come to life even more. Other than that, great job!
I remember reading your first story, and I liked it a lot, so I was excited to read what else you have written since then! And I think you did a great job with these other three stories! I’m focusing on “The Crazy Man” for this comment, because that one was my favorite! I liked your retelling of the story and I think it was a good idea to only focus on part of the fifth journey. It lets you really get into the story, without too much happening plot-wise. My only question is why did the old man do this to Sinbad? Is he just lazy and cruel, or was there some other type of motive that caused him to do this to Sinbad? Just a thought I had about something you could add to the story! You did such a great job on your story book!
Hi there Jake! happy to be back on your site! Well I can see that you have done some major work on your storybook! Four stories?? That's impressive. Obviously you've been working hard on them. I really like how dramatic your stories are. What I mean by that is that all of your stories follow the 'epics' theme in that they are packed with action and adventure. The only suggestion I could make for your portfolio, is to change of the theme/aethetics/color/pictures for the different stories. Each one of them as their own aspects, and I definitely think you could find pictures and/or colors that would go well. The cool part about portfolios, especially when I think of photography portfolios, is all the different ideas that come together for one book. It can make it super abstract, and quite colorful. As always, just a suggestion! Great job so far, and Happy Writing!
Jake, I read your Portfolio story, Great Escape. I like that you severely changed the ending of the original story of Odysseus and that the Cyclops was changed to a Yeti. These were very creative additions, and the end was surprising. I really like that you killed the hero and his men off, as no one would expect that. I have a few suggestions. Firstly, it is important to break this story up into smaller paragraphs. I was originally daunted when I looked at the page. I suggest introducing the problem of being stuck in the cave and your plan of escape as the first paragraph. The second could be about the Yeti returning and your hero's attack. Finally, the third paragraph could be the surprise ending where your hero fails to defeat the Yeti and the men all die. Also, especially at the beginning of your tale, you use a lot of short and choppy sentences. Try combining some of these so that your story flows more smoothly.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! I loved your story, and partly because I am bias toward Odysseus. I love his many adventures.. It was really what got me into mythology in the first place! Anyways, like Bridget said, very clever job making him a Yeti! And I absolutely love how you make the good guy die because I did not expect that one bit! I honestly think humanity could use a dose of reality within our stories.. We just seem to win too much sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI personally loved the suspense leading up to the Yeti's appearance. I like the psychology that is involved with everyone being freaked out and trying to calm themselves down.. It just gave the story much more depth than it would have without it!
Keep up the great work Jake! Just be sure to keep your work looking as appealing visually as it is in actual story quality and you sould have a wonderful looking portfolio!
Hey Jake, I think this is a great start to your portfolio. I am really excited to see the many stories you develop into this project. I think you did an amazing job because you really captured the audience's attention well right off the bat with the dramatic first few sentences. The plot continued to draw the reader in, and the reader was forced to keep reading in order to find out the predicament that the characters in the reading were in. I think this technique is something that is great when writing. I wonder what the story would have been like with dialogue. Also, if the characters had a little more development the audience could have maybe more easily been connected to the ones in Odysseus. In the end, I think your storytelling is off to a great start, best of luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Jake! I love your retelling of a classic Greek tale in “Great Escape”, especially how you changed the setting and gave it an unexpected ending. I fully hoped that Odysseus would survive the yeti’s wrath as he does the cyclops’ wrath in the original, but I think the ending is suitably bleak for the tone of the rest of the story and you explain the situation well by telling readers that he writes them from Hades.
ReplyDeleteA detail I wondered about while reading the story was how the main character and his men were trapped in the cave in the first place — did the yeti capture them when it went hunting one day? Did they accidentally stumble into his cave while seeking shelter from the cold? Is it the same as the original in that Odysseus wanted to see the yeti’s riches? I think this detail could help give readers more context in the first place.
One thing I did find challenging about reading this story was that it was set up in one very large block of text, and was a little bit difficult to focus on. If you broke it up into smaller paragraphs, I think it could really help the flow of the story. Overall though, this was a very engaging retelling with a a very unexpected finale.
Jake, great story and start to your blog. the great escape is an excellent take on the old odyssey story. An ironic title though. But the title just makes the ending all the more surprising. I also liked the voice you chose for the story, the main character kind of recalling the events and ending in Hades. It is a shame that not a single man made it out, but I suppose that's your prerogative. A quick note on the structure, I'd recommend you break your story into several paragraphs as to avoid the wall of text. That'll just make it easier to read and harder to get lost in. I'm excited to see where you take your project next!
ReplyDeleteI always love it when people change the ending to stories, especially when it’s not that much of a happy ending. Your story parallels a lot of how most Greek mythological stories ended. I liked that you changed the setting, although it would have been even better if you were able to describe in detail where and what the characters’ surroundings looked like. Another thing that I noticed is that it was one full paragraph. Breaking it up will make the story a lot easier for the audience to read. I noticed that I had trouble focusing towards the middle of the paragraph because it was a little longer than I would have liked. Giving your main character a first name, or some other identifying features, would have made the story more personal and it would have been better for the reader to understand the character more. Providing small details like this makes the story more relatable despite all the differences it had from the modern day world.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great surprise ending! I like that you changed the monster and ending to add your own twist to a well-known story. In order to make the ending even more surprising and ironic, what if you had Odysseus introduce himself at the beginning? That way, the reader would expect the typical Odysseus victory and experience an even greater surprise at the end.
I think some dialogue as the men suffer in the cave and deliberate would help to show the tension of the situation, and it might make it easier to read the plot-heavy story (not that plot-heavy is a bad thing at all!!).
I like that you decided to have Odysseus end up in Hades. But that last sentence left me wanting to know more! How exactly did he end up in Hades, and what is he doing there? Is he perhaps planning his next great escape?
Thanks for sharing your story; I think it's well-written and has a very exciting plot! I look forward to reading more from you!
Hey Jake!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I wanted to say how creative it was to change the story around where the cyclops becomes a yeti! I really enjoyed that along with the surprise ending where everyone died off instead of having a hero. I feel like hero stories are so cliche. I would suggest changing your writing style a bit. There were so many short choppy sentences that the story just did not flow. Maybe you could combine sentences and turn them into smaller paragraphs so it could be easier to read. Another things is you do a great job of describing the cave and how it looks, smells, etc. But you could do the same with the yeti to give the readers a visual of how big and ugly and scary he is. Other than that I think you have great ideas and are very creative, you just need to work on those sentences!
Hi Jake,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your first story "Great Escape". I always like to see stories that differ quite a bit from the original story and I must say, that was a very drastic change at the end. As I read about the remaining crew trying to propose a plan and execute it, I began thinking of why they hadn't tried attacking the Yeti whenever the crew was complete. I honestly thought the crew was all going to escape, or at least the narrator when he succeeds by getting out of the cave. The story was well written and creative. The picture of the Yeti could have been one that was a little bit scarier since he is a man-eating beast. There maybe could have been a few details to describe the scene whenever the Yeti was stabbed or when the crew was getting eaten but other than that it was a great story!
The amount of detail you put into this story was incredible. I could really picture your protagonist’s suffering. The first-person perspective also makes emotions and experiences feel stronger. I loved the fact that your character was telling all of this from the underworld. As I was reading and the situation was getting worse, I was thinking that he must be alive because he was telling this story. It was a nice little twist. I’d read the story of Odysseus and the cyclops before, but I think I actually like this more. I’d love to hear how the men got themselves into this situation, but I also like how you plop your reader down right in the middle of the action. It would also be great to hear some of the other ways that they tried to escape. Did they try beating against the door or digging out? Was there anything else in the cave with them?
ReplyDeleteHi Jake! First of all, I really like the layout of your portfolio website. It is simple, but very eye-catching. I like that you use a mix of Sun Wu Kung and the Odyssey in this story, and instead of using a cyclop, you se a yeti! That is very different. In the Odyssey, Odysseus is not as confident as Sun Wu Kung so I really like the way you depict Sun Wu Kung as a confident and fearless character. I often do not like to read story in first person point of view, but in your porfolio, you just make it work really well using this point of view. It helps the readers understand how the main character is feeling at certain moment and show his emotions more clearly. However, I am wondering how did the protagonist and his men end up trap in the cave in the case? Where was they going that lead them into troubles? Overall, I really like your storytelling style and cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! I’ve been to your Portfolio before and read the first story. It was very good and the second did not disappoint. The first part is very descriptive and I enjoyed the word choice. I also like the Monkey King’s confidence. It’s a big part of his personality and what guides him in his actions. Despite this, the title feels a little off to me. Sun Wu Kung is confident, but I think he still understood the gravity of the situation. I agree with you that the first person point of view can add a special element to your story. I struggle with being consistent in this, but you did well. I wish that there had been a little more conflict with the princes of the Nether. Why would they just bow to him? They had body guards! A fight scene might be in order here. You did a very nice job with this story overall. Good job!
ReplyDeleteJake
ReplyDeleteI liked how you began this story in the middle basically, instead of setting up why they were there, how they got there, etc. I think it is really different and it worked really well for this story to just jump right in. Using the story of Odysseus in this way with the scenery change and the monster changed was very clever! The only thing I would add would be something about why they were there. Odysseus and his men were on their way back from the war, so I think you could do something with that, in terms of why your characters were in the cave.
I liked your second story too! I think you’re right, changing it to first person did make the story more engaging. I think he is a very strong character, and I think you brought to life really well. I’m excited to read more of your stories!
Jake, I just read your second story, My Annoying Trip to the Nether. I thought the use of "annoying" in the title of the story was a strange choice until I realized that you had written a story on the Monkey King. I read this unit a week or two ago, myself, and "annoying" it definitely a fitting word for the monkey! I think I even used it in my author's note about him somewhere. You did a great job of retelling this tale, as the original Monkey King unit it not actually from Sun Wu Kung's perspective. It was great that you used "I am the Venerable Sun Wu Kung" more than once in your story as this phrase was seen throughout the unit and seemed to be the egotistical trade mark of the Monkey King. Hood job on this! I look forward to reading more of your tales!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake! I really enjoyed your portfolio! I think the amount of effort you put in your writing is great because the details make your writing so vivid. One thing I would suggest with your first story about the yeti is possibly moving the picture of the stabbing of the Cyclops below the Author’s note just to fully get it away from your story. I really do like the images that you chose however. I really like your Crazy Man story but I was wondering what if you added a bit more of a characterization. It immediately starts off with I and never truly describe the character. The actions and thoughts are described with great detail but I feel this story could be perfect if you just gave an introduction to the main guy. I would understand if you didn’t though because the story is all in first person so I do understand that there is no point in him describing himself, I just think it would add a nice touch. Overall, great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jake! I really like the overall design of your website. The use of the cartoon style images adds a unique style and fits well with your stories. It is also easy to navigate and find your stories. For your first story, I like how you changed the monster to a yeti to make it different. I read the author’s not on this first and you said you thought it would be funny to make them not escape. My main question is why you didn’t add humorous parts? What if you made the men think up some absurd plan to escape instead of just attacking the yeti? Like throwing their own talent show to distract the yeti. It’s just the first thing that came to mind when you wrote the “… same daunting conclusion” line. It would pretty much be a scene from a South Park episode. I enjoyed your other stories as well since I read the original stories as well, but this first story is the one where I had the most comments about.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake! I thought the setup of your Portfolio was really nice because it was super easy to navigate and had just a clean look to it. I enjoyed how different all your stories were from one another and how original each one was. You seem to like adventure and action stories which creates a common theme throughout the portfolio and creates a nice flow. Your twist to Odysseus's fight against Polyphemus in your story the Great Escape was very original and completely changed the story but in a good way. I think the changes worked with the ending of your story better than if you left the setting the same. It wouldn't have the same feeling if Odysseus dies in a beautiful sheep surrounded by sheep. That could have been an interesting thing to imagine though. The icy setting also added to the bleakness and despair the men are probably feeling. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Jake!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story-“The Crazy Man” from your portfolio. The title caught my attention and I was intrigued immediately. I like that you told this story in first person. I haven’t read many stories in this class that are told in the first person, but I like how it added a personal layer to this story, and it made it easier for me the empathize with the main character. I had never read this story before, so I am glad you decided to keep a lot of the main details and plot points. I love stories that include a heroine using their intelligence to get out of a tough situation, and I think you did a wonderful job with your descriptions in this story. My only suggestion would be to add a little dialogue to your story, because it will help it come to life even more. Other than that, great job!
Hi Jake!
ReplyDeleteI remember reading your first story, and I liked it a lot, so I was excited to read what else you have written since then! And I think you did a great job with these other three stories! I’m focusing on “The Crazy Man” for this comment, because that one was my favorite! I liked your retelling of the story and I think it was a good idea to only focus on part of the fifth journey. It lets you really get into the story, without too much happening plot-wise. My only question is why did the old man do this to Sinbad? Is he just lazy and cruel, or was there some other type of motive that caused him to do this to Sinbad? Just a thought I had about something you could add to the story! You did such a great job on your story book!
Hi there Jake! happy to be back on your site!
ReplyDeleteWell I can see that you have done some major work on your storybook! Four stories?? That's impressive. Obviously you've been working hard on them. I really like how dramatic your stories are. What I mean by that is that all of your stories follow the 'epics' theme in that they are packed with action and adventure.
The only suggestion I could make for your portfolio, is to change of the theme/aethetics/color/pictures for the different stories. Each one of them as their own aspects, and I definitely think you could find pictures and/or colors that would go well. The cool part about portfolios, especially when I think of photography portfolios, is all the different ideas that come together for one book. It can make it super abstract, and quite colorful. As always, just a suggestion!
Great job so far, and Happy Writing!